Cesc hates Arsenal!!!

Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas is on his way to Barcelona once and for all! The Spanish skipper today launched an obvious sign that he is set to quit crisis club Arsenal and join the European champions.

Here at our 'news' paper we have gained pictures of Fabregas entering London Colney, Arsenal's training ground, in his car but none of him out on the field with his Arsenal team-mates. The skipper is reportedly angry after arriving at the ground and seeing a training ground full of Gunners rather than Barcelona players, our chief 'spokesman' has found out.

This is further backed up by his 'quotes' to our chief reporter: 'I'm very happy to be back and to see my team-mates again after a relaxing summer.'

Clearly, the skipper is frustrated at Arsenal and wants to join Barcelona. He hints here that his summer was too 'relaxing' and wished he was jollying it up down at the Nou Camp with his Barca buddies.

Furthermore, we have taken a photo (below) of Arsenal full back Emmanuel Eboue waving, supposedly in the direction of the Arsenal captain as he drives away on a one way trip to Barcelona. Also, the Spanish midfielder was seen driving into the training ground not smiling or laughing, we believe presumably due to the fact he's stuck at Arsenal and not yet with the mighty Barcelona.

To add to this, he was listening to Spanish music as he arrived at the training ground, and our chief reporter has told us this is because he misses Spain so much and hates England and it's 'non- Spanish' music like he has hated the country ever since he was tied up in the back of a van and driven here by none other than Arsene Wenger back in 2003. He was then forced to play for the club to save his family's life, held hostage by the Arsenal backroom staff on the orders of chairman Peter Hill- Wood.

It is now surely time that Cesc Fabregas will leave to go to Barcelona. We have provided you with our usual levels of compelling evidence to back up our fictional story on the Arsenal captain, and demand you all believe us when we say he's going this summer to Barcelona!

And finally, we have no other news today as we have been too busy mindlessly obsessing and speculating over this story which has no substance behind it, no quotes and no evidence whatsoever that Cesc Fabregas will leave Arsenal this summer, as we have been telling you for God knows how long now! Barcelona have said they don't value him as highly as last summer and they haven't got enough money to persuade Arsenal to sell, but to hell with that, we know he's going to Barca this summer! Believe us! He's going!!!!